Fragility of life

Attended my cousin’s housewarming at Varsity Park Condo in the afternoon.

Housewarming, according to its name, is where friends and family visit your new house and help ‘warm’ it up. And then the house becomes full of love and cosiness.

But the day had to end pretty heavy-hearted. I felt my heart sink to the bottom of the pit. It was just too much of bad news for a day.

My grandma fell again. At 91, she has difficulties in walking and needs the aid of the walking stick. Her knees gave way while trying to reach for her walking stick. Images of her falling and crying out for help just filled my mind. I held her frail hands and wished she would be stronger.

My uncle is at his last stage of cancer. The last time I saw him, he was stick skinny. Today, he seemed to look better. But below that surface, he was in pain. His stomach was bloated and it hurt. Hurt so much that he couldn’t stop crying. The pair of tear-filled red eyes almost caused me to lose my cool. He was talking to us about how he woke in pain one night and he wanted to just take the plunge from my cousin’s new house. He stopped himself only because he said to jump from the fifth floor probably wouldn’t kill him. Instead, will bring him more sufferings. It was really painful to hear those pessimistic words coming out of his mouth. Everyone listening just tried our best to stop his negative thoughts. We encouraged him to stay happy no matter how much it hurts. But it seems the amount of pain in him completely blocked out all positive thoughts. I wanted to hug him to take away his pain. But I just stood there and watched him cry. There was nothing I could do.

My cousin and his wife are going through a separation. Two different persons with different dreams somehow managed to walk through a journey of more than a decade, but couldn’t survive the cruelty of marriage and commitment. I felt so sorry for both of them. There must be a way to work out the differences. But they chose to give up.

It was hard for me just witnessing all these happening in one day.

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