Wow, 13 years.

Dear Tata,

Is it crazy that we have not seen each other for 13 years? It’s crazily long. Losing contact with a friend for 13 years will probably not mean as much as losing a sister, a loved one, like you.

My mood always gets more cranky and irritable nearer to the day. Another year flew past. I found myself asking “Why God, why?” again. The last I saw you was when I flipped through the photos on my pc and struggling to hold back my tears because I really missed you. 

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We visited you last Sunday and I found out it was Ah Gu’s birthday, just 2 days before you left. It was awful enough you left on Sa Yi’s birthday.

Your mum diligently cleaned your photo and put new flowers. She even prepared some snacks and drinks for us, like having a mini picnic with you. As usual, she made herself busy entertaining us, making sure we had our breakfast.

She spoke lesser about you that day. She just stood and stared at your photo for a few good seconds and she was back to chatting with us.

The group of us had a good lunch together after bidding goodbye to you. A lunch to celebrate our uncle and aunty’s birthdays whose birthdays were just 2 days apart. You left us on Sa Yi’s birthday. I still remember she was showing me her birthday voucher which she intended to use on the day you left. But she gave a weak smile and kept quiet. It must have felt awful losing a niece on her birthday.

It seems that the family has slightly grown in size, with new additions, however, it still feels incomplete without you.

I still dream of the idea of you sometimes, but never really a clear dream of you. I missed you. I’m pretty amazed at how well I survived after losing you. We are all strong. We are all well. I wish you are too, wherever you are.

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My best friend, my sister, my soulmate, my dearest Tata. Til we meet again.

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