Caleb is 2 months young!

How did 2 months pass by so quickly? It felt like he was still the fragile little bean that popped out of me yesterday. I am missing the newborn size of him. He’s grown taller, and gained about double his birth weight. Poor arms of mine.

Now that he’s grown a lil bigger, it’s been a lot easier to handle his body in terms of carrying and playing with him. Sometimes I hold his two hands and move them around while singing to him and he laughs at that. Oh my. This IS motherhood. I’m definitely loving it! Of course he has his cranky moments, well, a lot of them actually, but still manageable for now. I really wish he can tone down a lil with his activeness sometimes. Like, don’t babies need to sleep at all??

Night duties are pretty much routined now. He wakes after 3 to 4 hours, if lucky, 5, for milk after a heavy feed at night. Then back to his 2 to 3 hourly intervals. It’s a cycle.

Somehow I am loving his diaper-changing times. He absolutely loves them, especially when I’m cleaning his butt. I guess he loves a clean butt hahaha! And he’s always kicking his legs around while I change his diaper, so that really trains my coordination and patience a lot.

Amidst the crankiness, I still find joy in being a mother, his mother. I’m amazed how having a kid has changed my life and thoughts. While I am not a perfect mother, but I will try to be the perfect mother to my son.


Happy 2 months young, Caleb, my baby!


Casper, my stranger, my angel

Ever since I got pregnant, I have been trying to introduce this new change in me to Casper to prepare him for a new additional to the family. Because he’s probably gonna lose his baby status at home very soon, I figured it would be good to preempt him, whether he understood or not.

Apparently, he is well aware of this and probably is angry about it.

He ignores me. In fact, he has been ignoring me ever since we moved to Punggol. Pretty much the same time we found out we’re pregnant. He would whine every single time Leland goes out without us, maybe just to get lunch, or to throw the garbage, or just to sweep the corridor outside our unit.

Every single time Leland is out of Casper’s sight, he whines. Even within the house, when I’m in the room and I lure Casper in since I’ve already turned on the aircon, he would just sit at the door and wait for his daddy to come in.

He ignores my commands. He ignores me calling his name. He avoids eye contact. He does the opposite of what I tell him to do.

I’m literally invisible to him.

I would try to carry him and put him near my tummy to tell him “Didi (younger brother) is inside, he’s coming out soon so you must be nice to him ok? Must sayang (love) Didi ok?”

He would either struggle to get off my tummy or give a completely unconcerned expression. “Damn you Mummy. I should be your ONLY baby!”

Damn. This boy’s got attitude.

Continue reading “Casper, my stranger, my angel”

Name reveal!

I can never understand how parents would intentionally misspell their kids’ names just to look unique. It just makes pronunciation difficult for others and people might end up spelling my kid’s name wrongly.

I want a name that is legitimately spelt and have a nice meaning to it. So I chose a very safe name that most people would know how to pronounce. I say most because I still hear people mispronouncing his name. *rolls eyes*

The shortlisting process took us quite a while because Leland had his preferences while I had mine. We were torn between his name n my name. I googled and researched on the meanings on the shortlisted names and eventually settled with mine. Ha! I win!

We even decided on his Chinese name based on the book Leland’s dad showed to us, involving the five elements of their surname and specific number of strokes. We decided to just settle his Chinese name based on the book without the need of getting it ‘calculated’ by a fortune teller to cut the hassle. Then at least we can get his name registered at the hospital once he pops without any delay.


CALEB [kay-lub]

– faithful, devotion, whole-hearted, bold, brave

Definitely a very meaningful name for our boy. Exactly what I want him to be when he grows up.

So there we have it. Our first miracle redbean. Mister Caleb Ang. 😀

I’m anxiously counting down to seeing him. At 36 weeks, I am getting edgy about every single sign I experience. I wake up every morning and feel my bed to check if it’s wet. It could be my water bag broke without me knowing. I check my underwear for signs of mucus plus or bloody ‘show’ everytime I pee. I try to differentiate the aches I have and find out if they are contractions instead. I’m almost getting an anxiety attack!

I’ve even created an instagram account for him, along with Casper, his big brother (@casperandcaleb). Super gan chiong me! I’ll update periodically about both their progress haha but since Caleb isn’t out yet, it’s more of Casper now.

I really hope Casper is excited about Caleb’s arrival even though he has been jealous and ignoring me for the past 9 months ever since he sensed it. But I also noticed he’s been quietly protecting and looking out for me at home, even to the extent of quietly sitting beside me without Leland around.

Caleb, you’ve been moving very aggressively these few days. It’s hurting Mummy at times. But I will tahan until you decide to say hi to us! But try as much as you can to be gentle ok?

Being Pregnant – Maternity Photoshoot

We just had our maternity photoshoot with Pierre on Tuesday. This time round, Casper joined us too! I insisted on including him since it’s almost like a family shot. We couldn’t miss him out!

I’m currently 32 weeks and I didn’t want to wait til later weeks to have the shoot since I won’t know if I would still have the energy by then. Luckily my tummy size seemed pretty ok for the shoot. I definitely looked pregnant enough.

Side note: My 31-week check up was a surprise cos I put on 1.5kg in 3 weeks, of which the little Redbean took up 600g of it, weighing in at 2kg! The growth spurt is pretty shocking. I couldn’t exactly cut down on rice/noodles but I limit to eating less of them in a day. Never would have thought I would still put on so much weight.

So the shoot went pretty smoothly. Upon arrival, Lina greeted me and started on hair and makeup. She was able to bring out a look I could accept, especially the hair. Nothing too old nor too young, at least it made me look radiant.

Being having trouble sleeping well lately ever since entering the 3rd trimester and my dark rings are horrendous! But she managed to hide them well. Just too bad my eyebags have become a permanent facial feature.

My hair and makeup took about 1.5 hours while the shoot took about 2 hours. I was pretty tired from all the posing and awkward tilts to hide my flaws LOL! My shins hurt pretty badly while trying to maintain certain poses but miraculously, my pelvic muscle aches seemed to vanish for that day and the following. Casper was so edgy when we left him alone to do couple shots but completely ok once Lina carried him haha.

I haven’t gotten the photos yet but Pierre has already shared a few sneaks on his FB page. OMG they looked great! He is one dedicated photographer, making sure all small little details were captured. He also managed to get some shots that I requested for. *thumbs up* I shall share it after I’ve gotten all the photos.

I knew I wanted a maternity photoshoot to capture the memories since this would be the only FIRST pregnancy that I’d be going through. Any pregnancy after this wouldn’t be the same. So I was really glad I went for it even though I know Leland wasn’t too keen to be in front of the camera again haha. So now I patiently wait for Pierre to send me the photos!!

Being Pregnant – Chubby Baby

I’m at my 29th week now.

We had quite a fruitful 28-week by going to a baby fair @ Expo on Friday. I took leave to rest at home considering the extra fatigue drowning me. But I recalled there was a baby fair so Leland and I chop chop went to buy some necessities for Redbean.

Preggy brains really getting me into trouble. I left home without laying out Casper’s pee pad and he conveniently peed on his bed and pooed on the floor. But oh well, not his fault. At least he didn’t pee against the walls.

So the baby fair wasn’t great. Mummy’s market back in May was better. The next would be in end July and I foresee more difficulties for me to go then, that’s why I just went for this June one.

Then I had my 28th week checkup on Saturday and was lightly warned by Dr Goh that Redbean was getting a lil chubby.

How like that? Haven’t even born and already being made fun for your weight. I don’t wish you join the TAF (Trim and Fit) club in school next time.

I had a slight scare 2 weeks ago when his movements slowed down and reduced for 2 days. Only which I realized he was just getting bigger and space was getting smaller. His kicks gradually ‘upgraded’ to nudges and pushes, albeit still soft and light at the beginning, they have gained more strength now at 29 weeks that they start to hurt.

Redbean, be nice to Mummy. Stop pushing and nudging me at my ribs and pelvic. I really need my beauty sleep before your pop.

I can now feel his whole body moving inside like he’s just twisting and tossing inside my ‘washing machine’ tummy.


Getting too big to even fit the ultrasound monitor.

Continue reading “Being Pregnant – Chubby Baby”