Growing up fast and furious

Caleb has been growing up so fast that he has new surprises for me and himself every single day. I didn’t exactly track down on a journal what he did or discovered everytime, just more or less know which week he did what. I might forget all his milestones soon.

Having his photo taken everyday without fail, I can really see how much he’s grown. It’s almost impossible to capture a sharp shot of him since he’s always moving his hands and kicking his legs. He can turn his head faster than I blink my eyes!

I am trying hard to provide the best I think it is for him so I don’t have much regrets. He’s been really clingy nowadays (13th week now) and cannot be left alone for too long. Too long is like 30 seconds. -_- So it’s a lot of babywearing while we’re at home. It helps him sleep and allows me to get some rest time. Gives my arms a very much wanted break as well. I’m guessing he’s around 6kg now which is weight I’m already afraid of cos I feel I might drop him. But luckily the weight gain is gradual so it gives my muscles some time to get used to it.

Staying home isn’t too bad. The thought of going back to work haunts me because I don’t wish to be away from Caleb for a minute. Missing out on his milestones would be the greatest regret. I am really considering to become a SAHM (stay at home mum) so I can focus all my energy on this lil guy. Growing with him is an extremely fulfilling job.

Blogging would be lesser as well since most of my free time would be resting and doing nothing (if that’s even possible) but I would still wish to blog as often as I can. Stay tuned.


Caleb is 2 months young!

How did 2 months pass by so quickly? It felt like he was still the fragile little bean that popped out of me yesterday. I am missing the newborn size of him. He’s grown taller, and gained about double his birth weight. Poor arms of mine.

Now that he’s grown a lil bigger, it’s been a lot easier to handle his body in terms of carrying and playing with him. Sometimes I hold his two hands and move them around while singing to him and he laughs at that. Oh my. This IS motherhood. I’m definitely loving it! Of course he has his cranky moments, well, a lot of them actually, but still manageable for now. I really wish he can tone down a lil with his activeness sometimes. Like, don’t babies need to sleep at all??

Night duties are pretty much routined now. He wakes after 3 to 4 hours, if lucky, 5, for milk after a heavy feed at night. Then back to his 2 to 3 hourly intervals. It’s a cycle.

Somehow I am loving his diaper-changing times. He absolutely loves them, especially when I’m cleaning his butt. I guess he loves a clean butt hahaha! And he’s always kicking his legs around while I change his diaper, so that really trains my coordination and patience a lot.

Amidst the crankiness, I still find joy in being a mother, his mother. I’m amazed how having a kid has changed my life and thoughts. While I am not a perfect mother, but I will try to be the perfect mother to my son.


Happy 2 months young, Caleb, my baby!

Motherhood is incredulous

Incredible + Ridiculous.

Babies are a fun bunch but not when they are crying at 3am for milk. I have been warned about losing sleep and I have mentally prepared myself for it. I thought “hey no big deal, I used to stay up late til 5am without sleeping when I was young.” Keywords: when I was young.

Whoever would think that dragging yourself up from bed at 3am to breastfeed a crying baby would be so physically tormenting. And with a sleepy baby who latched on for just a bit before dozing back off to sleep, and then crying again in 1 hour. So not fun.

Why did I allow myself to be subjected to such slavery?

Confinement aunty has left and I miss her terribly. Because I am so not enjoying night duties. But when he flashes a quick smile at me, everything tough is forgotten. Strange, how this little tiny baby can mess up my mind this way.

Motherhood is ridiculous because no one ever gets sleep now. But it’s also been incredible because it’s so satisfying.

3 weeks old!

Baby Caleb is 3 weeks old today.

Just 3 weeks ago, he was still giving me a hard time in the labour ward. Time flew past rather quickly. Now he’s put on a bit more weight and getting chubbier everywhere, especially his cheeks. He looks more like Leland now haha! Indirectly saying Caleb resembles his dad cos they are both fat.

This boy has been pretty cranky the past week ever since he got a scare from my mum for shouting too loudly being over-excited seeing Caleb on her weekly visit. Ok Mummy, you gotta chill. Your grandson cranky means no one can rest at all.

At least I’m still on my confinement and the aunty is still around to help, I still can get ample rest and shun some mummy duties and pretend I didn’t hear Caleb’s cryings.

Motherhood is really awesome. Everyone tells me that and I believe it now.

Other than his crankiness, a whole load of dirty diapers and cleaning his ass, constant feedings every 1 to 2 hours (growth spurt!), sore tits from both latching and pumping, restless days and nights, constant cracking of brain to soothe a crying baby, constantly feeling hot since no fans allowed during confinement, dirty hair, ugly nursing wear and strict diet, motherhood is just awesome. Seeing him wide awake and smiling at me just makes me forget all the exhaustion and ‘pain’ I go through for this little guy.



Hello, Caleb!

My little Redbean was born 26 Aug 2016 in the afternoon after a long and arduous labour of 30 hours! I deserve a huge round of applause!

Born 2 days shy from his EDD, Redbean finally was willing to come out after torturing me for 38 hours in the delivery ward.

The story goes like this.

Long and heavy post ahead!

Continue reading “Hello, Caleb!”