20 weeks young

Now that I have some me-time (cos Mum’s doing her nanny duties), I am able to update this blog.

Time flew past so fast! It was Christmas then we bid goodbye to 2016 and hello 2017. Soon it will be CNY again!

Last CNY, we went visiting as newly-weds to give out angbaos and still got to receive them! Win-win! I was already pregnant then but we told no one. So when everyone advised us to faster pop one baby to recoup our angbao losses, we just kept quiet haha. And tadah! Caleb came along and he’ll be going visiting, collecting some angbaos too for his savings.

24 Dec – We had a Christmas Eve potluck gathering with some of Leland’s friends at home. Pretty sure Caleb enjoyed his time especially having so much attention on him haha. It was his first Christmas afterall. Everything is new to him.

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Mummy, are you sure Christmas trees come in this size?

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18 weeks young!

Caleb, my dear boy, has been a bit mischievous of late. Crankiness is his new best friend. Exhaustion is mine.

Recently turned 4 months young on Monday. Apart from the 4th-month growth spurt, he is also going through a leap (according to The Wonder Weeks) which will last for a while. Some days he latches non-stop, some days he doesn’t seem hungry at all.

Currently he’s still on a 2-hourly feed, if lucky, 3. At night, he’s still latching every 3 hourly and hasn’t slept through the night ever since his 2 nights of peace back when he was about 10 weeks young. I’m not too crazy about having him sttn since I know some mummies who are obsessed about achieving this as early as 2 months old. I’ll let Caleb be ready when he’s ready.

I’ve been depressed at the thought that my maternity leave has ended and I’ve extended using my annual leave, as well as unpaid leave. Mum’s gonna come babysit him in January as she’s retiring from her 30-year career as of today. Happy for her but she’s gonna take over a more difficult job after that haha.

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Growing up fast and furious

Caleb has been growing up so fast that he has new surprises for me and himself every single day. I didn’t exactly track down on a journal what he did or discovered everytime, just more or less know which week he did what. I might forget all his milestones soon.

Having his photo taken everyday without fail, I can really see how much he’s grown. It’s almost impossible to capture a sharp shot of him since he’s always moving his hands and kicking his legs. He can turn his head faster than I blink my eyes!

I am trying hard to provide the best I think it is for him so I don’t have much regrets. He’s been really clingy nowadays (13th week now) and cannot be left alone for too long. Too long is like 30 seconds. -_- So it’s a lot of babywearing while we’re at home. It helps him sleep and allows me to get some rest time. Gives my arms a very much wanted break as well. I’m guessing he’s around 6kg now which is weight I’m already afraid of cos I feel I might drop him. But luckily the weight gain is gradual so it gives my muscles some time to get used to it.

Staying home isn’t too bad. The thought of going back to work haunts me because I don’t wish to be away from Caleb for a minute. Missing out on his milestones would be the greatest regret. I am really considering to become a SAHM (stay at home mum) so I can focus all my energy on this lil guy. Growing with him is an extremely fulfilling job.

Blogging would be lesser as well since most of my free time would be resting and doing nothing (if that’s even possible) but I would still wish to blog as often as I can. Stay tuned.

Caleb is 2 months young!

How did 2 months pass by so quickly? It felt like he was still the fragile little bean that popped out of me yesterday. I am missing the newborn size of him. He’s grown taller, and gained about double his birth weight. Poor arms of mine.

Now that he’s grown a lil bigger, it’s been a lot easier to handle his body in terms of carrying and playing with him. Sometimes I hold his two hands and move them around while singing to him and he laughs at that. Oh my. This IS motherhood. I’m definitely loving it! Of course he has his cranky moments, well, a lot of them actually, but still manageable for now. I really wish he can tone down a lil with his activeness sometimes. Like, don’t babies need to sleep at all??

Night duties are pretty much routined now. He wakes after 3 to 4 hours, if lucky, 5, for milk after a heavy feed at night. Then back to his 2 to 3 hourly intervals. It’s a cycle.

Somehow I am loving his diaper-changing times. He absolutely loves them, especially when I’m cleaning his butt. I guess he loves a clean butt hahaha! And he’s always kicking his legs around while I change his diaper, so that really trains my coordination and patience a lot.

Amidst the crankiness, I still find joy in being a mother, his mother. I’m amazed how having a kid has changed my life and thoughts. While I am not a perfect mother, but I will try to be the perfect mother to my son.

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Happy 2 months young, Caleb, my baby!

Motherhood is incredulous

Incredible + Ridiculous.

Babies are a fun bunch but not when they are crying at 3am for milk. I have been warned about losing sleep and I have mentally prepared myself for it. I thought “hey no big deal, I used to stay up late til 5am without sleeping when I was young.” Keywords: when I was young.

Whoever would think that dragging yourself up from bed at 3am to breastfeed a crying baby would be so physically tormenting. And with a sleepy baby who latched on for just a bit before dozing back off to sleep, and then crying again in 1 hour. So not fun.

Why did I allow myself to be subjected to such slavery?

Confinement aunty has left and I miss her terribly. Because I am so not enjoying night duties. But when he flashes a quick smile at me, everything tough is forgotten. Strange, how this little tiny baby can mess up my mind this way.

Motherhood is ridiculous because no one ever gets sleep now. But it’s also been incredible because it’s so satisfying.